Vodafone exec dons tartan tam-o'-shanter, clutches bottle of Irn Bru, in snap shared with firm... just before Glasgow staff told of redundo dates

Communications company 'seems incapable of communicating coherently to its workforce'

A Vodafone exec was plastered on the telco's intranet dressed in a "See You Jimmy"* hat and clasping a bottle of Irn Bru ahead of a meeting to confirm the redundancy dates for 312 Glasgow call centre staff.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/28/vodafone_exec_dons_se_you_jimmy_cap_and_clutches_bottle_of_irn_bru_before_glasgow_staff_told_of_redundo_dates/

BT 'UK's most powerful Wi-Fi'? Why, fie, for shame! – UK ads watchdog

Blood hath been shed 'ere now. Take that claim down anon, orders ASA

BT has been ticked off for running a campaign claiming to have the UK's "most powerful" broadband, almost two years after it was hauled before the ad industry watchdog over the same issue.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/27/bt_asa/

So. To the question we really wanted answering: How real is 5G?

We kick the wares in Barcelona

MWC  So what's really happening with 5G? And is it proper 5G?…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/27/5g_how_real_roundup/

Moneybags Buffett on ditching Oracle stake: I don't think I understand where the cloud is going

Billionaire investor says he was burnt by IBM – but is 'amazed' at Amazon's rise

Warren Buffett has told the world he was behind Berkshire Hathaway's decision to ditch its £2.1bn Oracle stake - just a quarter after buying it - because he felt he didn't understand where cloud computing is headed.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/26/buffett_dont_understand_cloud_oracle/

Renting out dedicated cloud server hardware? Don't just grin and bare it. Check your firmware is scrubbed of any spies

Infosec bods spot IBM SoftLayer not wiping down BMC flash memory after use

Cloud providers renting out bare-metal servers are going to give folks in the IT industry fresh security headaches, claims infosec outfit Eclypsium.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/26/bare_metal_servers_firmware_security/

Decoding the President, because someone has to: Did Trump just blow up concerted US effort to ban Chinese 5G kit?

Contrarian command-in-chief tweets, world scratches head

Comment  President Donald Trump appears to have undermined an increasingly aggressive push by the US government and telcos to pressure the world to shun Chinese equipment in next-generation 5G networks.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/23/trump_5g_tweet_blowup/

Trust the public cloud Big Three to make non-volatile storage volatile

NVMe drives speed VMs, but be warned – it ain't persistent

AWS and Google Cloud virtual machine instances – and as of this month, Azure's – have NVMe flash drive performance, but user be warned: drive contents are wiped when the VMs are killed.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/22/azure_nvme_flash_drives_hyperv_virtual_machines/

Huawei exec says firm will start tackling GCHQ security fears from June

The iceberg has begun to change course

Stinging from British criticism over its slow pace, Huawei has promised to start addressing security fears from the country's spy agency, GCHQ, by June.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/22/huawei_security_plan/

You're on a Huawei to Hell, US Sec State Pompeo warns allies: Buy Beijing's boxes, no more intelligence for you

Don't need reason, don't need rhyme. Ain't nothing I would rather do: going down, party time

US Secretary of State Mike Pompeo has confirmed that Uncle Sam will no longer provide top-secret intelligence to countries that use Huawei equipment in their core networks.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/21/no_intel_for_huawei/

Want a .dev domain? They were $12,500 a pop from Google. Now, $1,000. Soon, $17.50. And you may want one

Meanwhile, .gay comes out of the commercial closet

Google has launched a new internet extension specifically for developers but if you want to get a good name, you're going to have to pay for it.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/21/google_launches_dev/

Google emits a beta of Cloud Service Platform to entice hold-outs with hybrid goodness

Where would madam like madam's Kubernetes? Cloud? On-premises? Both?

Google's hybrid Cloud Services Platform (CSP) emerged blinking into the light today, in beta form at least.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/21/google_cloud_service_platform/

Go, go, Gadgets Boy! 'Influencer' testing 5G for Vodafone finds it to be slower than 4G

Hilarity ensues

Big companies love to have social media "influencers" touting their wares – time-rich millennials who have turned product placement into a moderately lucrative lifestyle, often thanks to an agency.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/21/influencer_finds_5g_slower_than_4g/

Huawei hasn't yet fixed its security vulns, says UK's NCSC overseers

Not secure enough for UK.gov use either

Huawei has not showed British government overseers a “credible plan” for dealing with security shortcomings flaged in a report issued last year, the technical director of the National Cyber Security Centre has said.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/20/ncsc_huawei_lacks_credible_plan_fix_security_shortcomings/

All your ETL pipeline are belong to us: Google snaps up Alooma

Aloogle? Goolooma? Take your pick

Google has hoovered up data pipeline pusher Alooma for an undisclosed amount as the ad slinger continues its efforts to clamber up the cloud charts.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/20/google_buys_alooma/

Cut open a tauntaun, this JEDI is frozen! US court halts lawsuit over biggest military cloud deal since the Death Star

Oracle's legal warship drops out of warp, on impulse power for now

A fierce legal battle over the Pentagon's $10bn Joint Enterprise Defense Infrastructure (JEDI) cloud IT deal was put on ice by a judge Tuesday – after the Department of Defense (DoD) vowed to probe itself regarding the contract.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/20/jedi_contract_on_hold/

New claim dogs Oracle: After $11m of sales, I was unfairly axed before next big deal – because I am a 64yo woman

Fresh harassment allegations hit biz that insists diversity numbers are trade secret

Oracle, facing US government charges that it discriminated against women by paying them less than male colleagues, has been sued yet again for gender and age discrimination by a former sales rep.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/20/oracle_sales_rep_allegations/

US telcos' best pal – yes, the FCC – urged to dump its dodgy stats, crowd-source internet speeds direct from subscribers

Meanwhile: Commissioner celebrates forcing ISP to remove abusive content ban

A bipartisan group of US senators are trying to force the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) to face up to the reality that its statistics for broadband speeds across America aren't worth squat.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/19/fcc_crowdsourcing_request/

Germany tells America to verpissen off over Huawei 5G cyber-Sicherheitsbedenken

Europeans can't find any evidence of Chinese spying

German is expected to snub US pressure to cut Huawei out of its next-generation 5G networks, rejecting claims that the Chinese manufacturer is a security risk.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/19/germany_huawei_5g_security/

Amazon triples profit to $11.2bn, pays ZERO DOLLARS in corp tax – instead we pay it $129m

Yet it's still whining that New York City didn't offer enough for HQ2

Amazon's profits more than tripled last year to an extraordinary $11.2bn but, for a second year running, the web giant has paid not a single cent in US federal taxes.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/15/amazon_no_tax/

Oracle throws toys out pram again, tells Federal Claims Court: Competing for Pentagon cloud contract isn't fair!

Address gate criteria, conflicts of interest – then we can play

Oracle is pushing the Court of Federal Claims to rule in its favour and issue a judgment saying the Pentagon erred in its decision to offer its $10bn cloud contract to a single vendor.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/15/oracle_seeks_to_stop_pentagon_jedi/

Crypto crash leads to inventory pile-up at Nvidia, sales slaughtered

Revs down 25% y-o-y, op profit sinks 79%. Miners? Gamers? Hyperscalers? Anyone? Guys? Bueller?

You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, so found Nvidia's management team last night as they reported a pig of a quarter that saw revenues and profit crash.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/15/crypto_crash_leads_to_inventory_pileup_at_nvidia_sales_slaughtered/

Amazon throws toys out of pram, ditches plans for New York HQ2 after big trouble in Big Apple

Online retailer just wants to be loved. And by loved, it means given lots of subsidies no questions asked

Amazon has ditched its plans to open a headquarters in New York City after growing opposition to its plans by local officials and unions.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/14/amazon_ditches_new_york_city/

Roses are red, so is ketchup, 'naked' Huawei tells its critics to belt up

Comms giant bared all to Brit security services, says chief

Eric Xu, one of three rotating chairmen at Huawei, has said the company is "naked" before the British security services with whom it shares its most intimate secrets: its source code.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/14/naked_huawei/

Santander hands over $700m to IBM in hopes of becoming incredible banking machine

Watson, cloud... and expecting IT savings from all that cash

Santander is locked, loaded and ready to fire the cash gun at IBM in an effort to speed the bank's jaunt towards the cloud.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/14/santander_ibm_700m/

Slow and steady for Cisco: Yep, people still need network gear, and together they'll pay billions of bucks for it

Switchzilla shakes off economic worries, turns tidy profit

Little news is good news for networking giant Cisco.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/14/cisco_q2_fy2019/

Sigfox cracks open IoT radio protocol specs for world+dog (+badgers?)

Low-power ultra-narrowband network for your street, ma'am?

Who at one time hasn't wanted to install a low-power ultra-narrowband radio network in embedded objects all over the neighbourhood? Perhaps you wanted to keep an eye on the local badgers? Well, badgers look out: it's now become easier to do so.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/13/sigfox_open_spec/

Go big (without our bandwidth) or go home, Verizon: Texas mulls outlawing 911 throttling after Cali wildfire fiasco

Public safety versus profit

A law proposed in Texas would make it illegal for mobile networks in the US state to throttle internet connectivity during an emergency.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/13/texas_emergency_data_throttling_ban/

Cisco sues lawyers on its own side – for bigger slice of capacitor price-fixing settlement pie

Class action lawsuit over component sparks legal fight

Cisco is fighting its own side's lawyers to get a bigger slice of an electronic component price-fixing payout pie in the latest unedifying class-action lawsuit.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/12/cisco_pricefixing_spoils/

Ivan to be left alone: Russia preps to turn its internet into an intranet

NATO 'aggression', state control of browsing, it's all the same

Russia is reportedly preparing to turn its internet into a nationwide intranet as preparation for hacking attacks from the West.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/12/russia_disconnect_internet_intranet/

The gimlet gaze of Azure to be turned upon UK footpads thanks to cop-friendly analytics

UK Police Forces on Microsoft's platform have some new toys in their arsenal

Britain's criminals must be quaking in their boots after hearing the news that tools to help UK plod solve crimes have been added to Microsoft's Azure cloud.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/12/azure_police_analytics/

Uncle Sam to its friends around the world: You can buy technology the easy way, or the Huawei

US govt State Dept boss Mike Pompeo: We'll shut you out if you're using kit from Chinese maker

US Secretary of State Mike Pompeo says his department may punish countries that purchase hardware from Chinese telecoms giant Huawei.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/12/us_warning_huawei/

Brazil lights the Kindling as dot-Amazon saga roars back into life

Seven-year battle by Bezos could be coming to an end

A seven-year fight over the introduction of .amazon internet addresses may finally be resolved this week with crunch talks in Brazilia.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/11/dotamazon_saga_icann/

Not heard owt bad about Huawei, says EU Commish infosec bod

But you'll love our sticker scheme... right?

Interview  The EU has not seen evidence that Huawei poses a threat to its internal markets – and says that even if it had, blocking the controversial Chinese company's products is up to EU member nations, not the political bloc.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/11/eu_up_to_member_countries_ban_huawei_not_us/

It's OK, everyone – Congress's smart-cookie Republicans have the answer to America's net neutrality quandary

It's something to do with the Mexican border wall

Analysis  When the Democrats took over the House of Representatives in America, one of the first things that the House Energy and Commerce Committee did was call a hearing on net neutrality. We had a familiar feeling of dread at the time.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/08/congressional_neutrality_hearings/

High-speed broadband fiber in America: You want the good news or bad news first?

Arkansas is looking good, Kentucky not so much

Analysis  In what could prove to be an important turning point in the rollout of fiber across the US, this week the Arkansas congressional committee voted to repeal their state's prohibition on municipal broadband.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/08/us_municipal_broadband/

Scaling up Azure Service Fabric Linux Clusters using Ubuntu Xenial? Not so fast, friend

Workaround needed if you suddenly run into trouble with latest Linux OS update

While the Redmond executioner was bringing the axe down on the neck of Azure Party Clusters, an Ubuntu security update has done the same to the Azure cloud's Service Fabric Linux Clusters.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/08/azure_service_fabric_linux_clusters/

How I got horizontal with a gimp and untangled his cables

Not a euphemism. I really did this

Something for the Weekend, Sir?  I spent this week on the floor.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/08/something_for_the_weekend_/

Treaty of Roam: No deal Brexit mobile bill shock

First mover disadvantage

The UK's Ministry of Fun* has introduced draft legislation enabling UK operators to charge roaming fees for calls and data inside the EU, should the UK crash out of the EU (and the larger EEA) next month.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/07/treaty_of_roam_no_deal_brexit_mobile_bill_shock/

Trolling in the Reg's forums... we mean, er, 'working' on the train still rubbish thanks to patchy data coverage

Rail fails to keep up with 4G

As well as the traditional New Year's price hikes, UK rail commuters face an additional humiliation – data speeds aren't increasing as fast as they might.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/07/railway_slow_data/

Things that make you go .hm... Has a piece of the internet just sunk into the ocean? It appears so

If anyone's seen Ed Sweeney recently, please let us know

Analysis  You may not have heard of the Heard and McDonald Islands – it's one of the most remote places on the planet just north of Antarctica – but thanks to one of the quirks of the internet you are able to own a piece of it. Or at least you were.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/06/hm_domains_borked/

Huawei pens open letter to UK Parliament: Spying? Nope, we've done nothing wrong

Malicious acts would 'destroy' us, exec insists

Huawei has admitted "room for improvement" in its product design processes in an open letter to the UK Parliament – but strongly refuted allegations of spying.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/06/huawei_open_letter_uk_government/

Party pooper Microsoft pulls plug on Party Cluster

If yer name's not on Azure's list, you ain't coming in

Microsoft has said it is killing off Azure Party Clusters, the software giant’s free trial for Service Fabric workloads, so engineers can concentrate on stopping the rest of the stack from toppling.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/06/microsoft_kills_party_cluster/

Viasat: Huzzah, we're going to the EU courts over airline broadband

Brussels court (no, not that one) comes up trumps for US biz

Viasat, US arch-rival of British satellite comms biz Inmarsat, has claimed victory in a Belgian court during a bitter continent-wide legal row over the proposed EU Aviation Network for in-flight phone signal.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/06/viasat_eu_court_referral_european_aviation_network/

Che tiara! Revolutionary cloud commune fitted for Red Hat developers

Come comrades, join the coding collective

Enterprise Linux biz Red Hat, plated for consumption by IBM later this year, said on Tuesday that its containerized cloud development environment, Red Hat CodeReady Workspaces, has ripened to the point of general availability.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/06/red_hat_dev_space/

Congrats, Satya Nadella. In just five years, you've turned Microsoft from Evil Neutral to, er, merely True Neutral

The hits, misses, and axings by the newish CEO

Stepping into the sweaty shoes of Steve Ballmer was never going to be an easy task. Satya Nadella’s first five years as third CEO of the software giant has brought pain to fans of Microsoft's consumer tech but delight to investors.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/05/satya_nadella_five_years_microsoft_ceo/

Investors dump $250m on analytics biz like a ton of Databricks

Series E funding round values company at $2.75bn

Analytics biz Databricks has doubled its total funding with a $250m investment, valuing the company at $2.75bn.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/05/databricks_series_e_250m/

Brit bit barn UKFast opens up API to devs: Have at it, they're just a phone call away

Hosting outfit wants to get up close and personal

Manchester-based hosting outfit UKFast has squeezed out a developer platform in the hopes of fending off the relentless march of cloud giants Amazon and Microsoft.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/05/ukfast/

Cheap call? Hardly. GSM gateway judicial review to settle whether Home Sec can legally push Ofcom around

Grey area in comms law needs a tad more black and white

Can the UK Home Secretary order Ofcom to ignore its own legal duties? A court case that effectively began with the trial of a GSM gateway operator will soon decide the answer to that difficult, and potentially expensive, question.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/05/gsm_gateway_judicial_review_home_office/

Whatever you've got to say about Google, it can't hear you over the sound of it banking $85m a day in pure profit

Costs on the rise but still added $99m a day to its bottom line in Q4 2018

Google parent company Alphabet says it logged a 23 per cent jump in revenues in the final quarter of 2018, even as losses from its various side projects continue to mount.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/05/alphabet_q4_2018_google_profit/

Grumble Pai: FCC boss told by House Dems to try the novel concept of putting US folks first, big biz second

Snotagram accuses comms regulator chief of being a Useful Ajit for telcos

The chairs of the US House of Reps' commerce and technology committees have picked a fight with FCC boss Ajit Pai, accusing him of being a corporate stooge.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/04/fcc_ajit_pai_house_democrats/

Upcoming report from UK's Huawei handler will blast firm for unresolved security issues

GCHQ limb tight-lipped but we can read between the lines

Huawei is nursing bruises from a fresh round of bashing in the popular press, this time from a report stating that Britain is to criticise the embattled Chinese telco kit maker over ongoing security vulnerabilities.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/04/huawei_hcsec_gchq_brouhaha/

Tedious Service Bulletin: No prizes for guessing which UK bank's services are DOWN for business users

TSB TITSUP: Tirelessly Sucky Banking, Total Inability To Shock Us, Period.

Totally Shocked Businesses have faced a morning without access to their online accounts following yet another IT meltdown at embattled TSB.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/04/no_prizes_for_guessing_which_uk_banks_services_have_gone_down_for_business_customers/

BT's outgoing CEO to score £1m in pay and pension until October

Unless he gets off the sofa and finds another job beforehand

Oh to be on the executive merry-go-round: BT CEO Gavin Patterson today leaves his post but will continue to rake in filthy lucre from the corp until the latter part of October – seven big ones to be precise. That is assuming he doesn't take up a job with a rival in the meantime.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/04/bts_outgoing_ceo_to_get_1m_in_pay_and_pension_until_october/

Our vulture listened to four hours of obtuse net neutrality legal blah-blah so you don't have to: Here's what's happening

Current rules are rock solid or dissolving in front of our eyes – one of the two

Analysis  A year after the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) was sued for scrapping America's net neutrality rules, the issue finally ended up in court on Friday.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Networks
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/02/net_neutrality_legal_showdown/

Global server motel, with a supermarket in the parking lot, banks $10bn profit from $233bn sales (Yes, it's Amazon)

Revenue growth appears to be slowing, though... Shares down in after-hours

Amazon closed out 2018 with a bang, well, a $72.4bn fourth quarter, according to figures released Thursday.…

via The Register - Data Centre: Cloud
http://go.theregister.com/feed/www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/01/amazon_aws_fy2018/